Afternoon on this cold and snow-fuelled day.
You have just got to love this country. A few flakes of snow fall for the first time in many a moon and the country goes to pot. I love it. There I have been acting the complete kid today marching down main roads throwing snow missiles at my unsuspecting friends and everyone else is stuck at work and moaning.
If you look at any other country they seem to be prepared for such onslaughts. The Scandinavians just get in another few packets of biscuits and a fresh bottle of vodka and get prepared for the onslaught. Next day every car, bus, train, aeroplane and any other form of mechanical transport is moving swimmingly and everyone just laughs if off.
In Germany, they actually believe their weather forecasters because the Germans are a very paranoid people. Therefore, when the German version of Sian Lloyd stands in front of the television and tells them it is going to snow like crazy on Thursday, it may be surprising news to you all, but the Germans are ready for it. In Switzerland, Austria, France and even Spain- their preparations are better than ours.
In America, they are sending sozzled Homer Simpson's up and down every State snowplowing roads and De-freezing rail tracks and runways whenever a snowstorm is expected.
Here in the U.K though, we can't even find it in ourselves to believe our weather forecasts to get prepared. Nowadays, the forecasts are pretty accurate compared to the Michael Fish forecasts of the 1980;s. So why are we so surprised to wake up today and see 6 ft of snow in our back gardens.
As I write Radio 2 Traffic Girl Sally is on reporting of "travel chaos" and by goodness if I hear one more prat moaning about the elements on TV or radio I will swing for someone. We were warned: we should have been prepared.
Anyhow, not letting the elements fail me I went shopping this morning. Now that really was torture. I mean, I cannot think of any task anymore boring, frustrating and damn right annoying than supermarket shopping. It takes an age to find exactly what is on your list, meaning you waste a whole 90 minutes of your life just wandering around like an ostrich. Hands and everything else is flapping as you just want to finish..
You always spend more than you really want to. Always. I popped in for eggs, bread and milk today and then decided to do my "main" shop. Now this was Co-op which is one of the most expensive supermarkets around. But I didn't care did I as I went into the "zone"- one where you rush around like you are on Dale Winton's 'Supermarket Sweep', putting everything that is anything on your trolley. Now, fortunately, I do check what I have chucked in my trolley before I approach the checkout- so approx half of the trolley goes back on the shelves. Yet trust me... you always get home with 5-10 goods that you have no reason for having. Today, I bought a pair of gloves- but I already had gloves on at the time. You get the gist.
Just when you think that the hell is over you get to the checkout, have to wait a day for the checkout girl to finish her chat with Sue who happens to be the checkout supervisor but never seems to supervise anybody. She just gossips. Shopping in supermarkets is just a real nightmare: worse than watching Pearl Harbour on DVD, or having to spend a day with the Grandmother.
No, no, no. Give me the pub. Any day, anytime, anywhere.
You have just got to love this country. A few flakes of snow fall for the first time in many a moon and the country goes to pot. I love it. There I have been acting the complete kid today marching down main roads throwing snow missiles at my unsuspecting friends and everyone else is stuck at work and moaning.
If you look at any other country they seem to be prepared for such onslaughts. The Scandinavians just get in another few packets of biscuits and a fresh bottle of vodka and get prepared for the onslaught. Next day every car, bus, train, aeroplane and any other form of mechanical transport is moving swimmingly and everyone just laughs if off.
In Germany, they actually believe their weather forecasters because the Germans are a very paranoid people. Therefore, when the German version of Sian Lloyd stands in front of the television and tells them it is going to snow like crazy on Thursday, it may be surprising news to you all, but the Germans are ready for it. In Switzerland, Austria, France and even Spain- their preparations are better than ours.
In America, they are sending sozzled Homer Simpson's up and down every State snowplowing roads and De-freezing rail tracks and runways whenever a snowstorm is expected.
Here in the U.K though, we can't even find it in ourselves to believe our weather forecasts to get prepared. Nowadays, the forecasts are pretty accurate compared to the Michael Fish forecasts of the 1980;s. So why are we so surprised to wake up today and see 6 ft of snow in our back gardens.
As I write Radio 2 Traffic Girl Sally is on reporting of "travel chaos" and by goodness if I hear one more prat moaning about the elements on TV or radio I will swing for someone. We were warned: we should have been prepared.
Anyhow, not letting the elements fail me I went shopping this morning. Now that really was torture. I mean, I cannot think of any task anymore boring, frustrating and damn right annoying than supermarket shopping. It takes an age to find exactly what is on your list, meaning you waste a whole 90 minutes of your life just wandering around like an ostrich. Hands and everything else is flapping as you just want to finish..
You always spend more than you really want to. Always. I popped in for eggs, bread and milk today and then decided to do my "main" shop. Now this was Co-op which is one of the most expensive supermarkets around. But I didn't care did I as I went into the "zone"- one where you rush around like you are on Dale Winton's 'Supermarket Sweep', putting everything that is anything on your trolley. Now, fortunately, I do check what I have chucked in my trolley before I approach the checkout- so approx half of the trolley goes back on the shelves. Yet trust me... you always get home with 5-10 goods that you have no reason for having. Today, I bought a pair of gloves- but I already had gloves on at the time. You get the gist.
Just when you think that the hell is over you get to the checkout, have to wait a day for the checkout girl to finish her chat with Sue who happens to be the checkout supervisor but never seems to supervise anybody. She just gossips. Shopping in supermarkets is just a real nightmare: worse than watching Pearl Harbour on DVD, or having to spend a day with the Grandmother.
No, no, no. Give me the pub. Any day, anytime, anywhere.
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